I am now reporting back! Section 2 of 越境者が読んだ近代日本文学―境界をつくるもの、こわすもの | L36?? was all about 甘え!
I am going to hide the summary of what it was about and my thoughts behind some drop downs since I think this post is going to get a bit long (and will perhaps be boring for a lot of people 
I’m going to spare you alllll).
About the section
I knew what 甘え was but would not have been able to explain it deeply, but the book got right into that. The intro dipped its toes into the psychological implications of 甘え (as in, the author referenced “The Drama of the Gifted Child” by Alice Miller at some point - a deep take I did not see coming haha), and works by an author called 土居健郎 who wrote about 甘え and Japanese society were referenced heavily.
甘えについて
According to 土居健郎, 「甘え」has the following characteristics:
甘えは対象との同化の感情であり欲求である。そして同化される側と同化する側は非対称であるのがその特徴である。すなわち、甘えさせる側と甘える側にはステータスの違いがある。甘えが成立するかしないかは一に甘えさせる側にかかっている。甘えさせる側に支配権と権威があって、甘える側は相手の意に従わざるをえない関係だ。
「甘え」という概念の延長線上にアイデア
リゼーションというのがある。理想化といってもよい。これは相手を尊敬し、慕うということで、人間が成長発達する上では不可々なものである。ちょうど健康な精神の発達に甘えがなくてはならないのと同じである。
甘えはノンヴァーバル（非言語的）、ノンストラティジック（非戦略的）、それからアンコンシャス（無意識的）
For reference, the simple dictionary definition:
人の好意をあてにする気持ち。
In other words, 甘え something like the is a non-verbal, non-strategic and unconscious process that involves one party’s idealization + reliance on the kindness of the other party, and that other party’s adaptation to that ideal for the sake of the other person.
Structure and Comparative Analysis of 志賀直哉 and Hemingway
That is all a bit abstract and squishy, isn’t it? 
Luckily the author structured the section in such a way that all became clear.
After the definition of 甘え, the author provided some examples of 甘え from his own life and experiences with intercultural communication, and followed it up with an exploration of the general attitude towards 甘え in Japan and North America (Europe also briefly mentioned). Then, the concept of 甘え was used as a lens for a comparative critical reading of 「暗夜行路」by 志賀直哉 and various Hemingway short stories including The Old Man and the Sea.
As mentioned, the section covered 甘え in both Japan and the West, and @pm215 ’s comment about 甘え being a specific Japanese cultural concept was touched upon by the author:
Author response:
甘えという感情は日本文化では顕著な表現を与えられているが、決して日本に限られたものではなく、普遍的なものだというのが土居健郎の持論であるが、一部に日本特有な現象だと思われ、その説は狭臨な日本人論と思われ、誤解されたことがあったらしい。
After reading the argument made by the author, I would also agree that it is universal but manifests differently in the west due to cultural attitudes. One random example from the book was an American wife telling her husband who tried to act spoiled “I’m not your mom!” and rejecting his attempt for 甘え - he did not receive it in the end but it was an attempt nonetheless and helps you see how the concept is universal.
I really enjoyed the section on 暗夜行路 (wow, it’s almost as if I love Japanese literature and spent thousands of hours learning Japanese to gain access to it…
I love encountering reminders of why I do what I do!), but enjoyed the Hemingway portion a bit less since I’m just not a huge Hemingway person. It was, however, interesting reading a comparative analysis on two different authors writing around the same time period. The use of 甘え as a lens really brought out the cultural differences and gave me new insight into “rugged individualism” in America from an outside pov (amongst other topics) and I had several “目から鱗” moments when reading.
甘え and Language Learning
However, one of the most interesting portions was the author recounting his experiences learning English in Tokyo and talking to foreign staff at his university for practice. He recalled that he spent a lot of time hanging around their private quarters trying his best to communicate in English and they kindly indulged him, helping him learn. Later he went to America on a Fullbright scholarship and recounted his time there:
取ったコースの教授全員が日本から来たこの「ひたむきな青年」をかわいがってくれた。少なくともそう私は思った。私は戦後の書物を読んで育ったので、日本に対して無批判に批判的だった。その分、私は無批判にアメリカを謳歌した。アメリカに甘え、同化しようとした。そういう私を見て、アメリカ人の教授は私を気持よく甘やかしてくれたのだろうか。とにかく私にとって、こんな住み心地のよいところはなかった。
He went on to reflect on the various students of English and Japanese he met throughout the years and hypothesized that successful learners ended up in an environment that provided them lots of 甘え and support as they practiced versus unsuccessful learners who were likely to have not been indulged by speakers of their TL. Applying that same thought to my own experiences learning the languages I speak was quite insightful - it makes sense that being willing to ask for a bit of others and have that indulged can be an important ingredient in the overall recipe!
I had a fantastic time reading about all of that, but I think I will be putting the book down for a few days now since that’s about enough big brain time for one week. The next chapter is about 康成川端 and 山の音 | L38, which many Japanese people have described to me as “extremely dull”. So, I’m excited to find out more about it in the hopes that I can increase my chances of enjoying it myself if I end up reading it one day! But first - time for a break.
I’ll probably end up starting one of the lighter books I have sitting around unread on my kindle, but I’m not sure what yet….
