おつかれ 
Sounds like CLAMP. I’ve only seen the CCS anime, but was already used to that screwery cuz I’m a huge Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle fan. I have to read CCS at some point, especially since it doesn’t have all the pointless drama filler from the anime.
Have you seen ヒロインたるもの！〜嫌われヒロインと内緒のお仕事〜 S1 | L23 ? Description reminds me of that a little. I kinda wanna rewatch it now
Anything else you know of that fits that description?
Sometimes I looked happenings up in English and still didn’t get fully what all the backgrounds were… only now in the end some things became clearer >_<
Hmm idolverse definitely interests me, though the workplace setting is a bit more intriguing for me and I like if they’re already on the older side (at least than high school age)
Sounds like CLAMP 
That’s fair about workplace vs HS. Fwiw ヒロインたるもの does have a lot of them working (the idols, their bosses, and the MC - you see them rehearse, do shows, music video collabs, fan mail, etc, behind the scenes stuff, etc), and is also not a romance. I’m not usually that into idol stuff, but I was pleasantly surprised. (It didn’t hurt that it features a ton of my favorite voice actors, including Shimazaki Nobunaga as one of the leads)
Ugh I haven’t updated in 2 months…
It’s not that I haven’t done anything, but pretty much just the bare minimum (which means not slacking on Renshuu just because I’m genuinely terrified thinking of the SRS aftermath nightmare).
In German, they call this “Sommerloch”. Actually I’m almost sure I had this around the same time last year, but I can’t go back monthwise in my stats. I had a screenshot of my rollercoaster stats graph, but I can’t find it anymore.
Anyway, it feels kinda demotivating, at the same time I’m trying to think happy thoughts that I did something. I finished 丸の内魔法少女ミラクリーナ and the first playthrough for my visual novel. I finished N2 grammar deck which gave me a great opportunity to tone down the new cards. I went to another language exchange meetup (even though it wasn’t really great language-wise).
There’s this one person inside of me that just wants to lay in bed all day and mope, but at least there’s that other person is dragging her at the hair to at least go brush teeth. So my figurative brushing of the teeth is now bare minimum SRS, watching 2 anime episodes a month and read 10 pages a week. At least till this Sommerloch is over (praying that it does end eventually). Funnily enough, at yesterday’s 38C I strangely felt more motivated to read a little - maybe it’s the feeling of beach vacation (in reality, I don’t have any vacation days left until September - big sad).
Going to update my intro post with stats now cuz numbers bring me a little bit of joy.
I’ve given up Anki for months at a time before but because I kept doing other things to keep in touch with the language I kept rolling forward. Sometimes SRS is just not the vibe and that’s fine
I think the ‘teeth brushing’ aspect of getting some minimum reading/watching in is plenty - when you’re ready to pick up more that will be soon enough assuming you don’t need to pass some test in the near future. Hobbies are meant to be fun
From my personal experience, once you get where you can start using native content anyway, the value of SRS goes down pretty quickly. I think I spent waaaaaaay too long using sentence decks when I should have just been reading and/or watching TV. I have words that I know were in old anki decks that I’m having to relearn now because they just didn’t stick. Which is my very long winded way of saying it probably doesn’t matter all that much if you keep with SRS in a bare minimum period. (The only downside is that you’ll probably have an insurmountable number of reviews when you get back… I don’t know how renshuu works but if there’s a way to get rid of decks, or ideally, reset the most recently added cards so that you’re only reviewing mature cards…) I honestly think brushing your teeth is more like finding some easy media that you enjoy and just engaging with that. SRS is more like a fluoride rinse. It’s a great to have, but isn’t going to solve a problem of not brushing your teeth for months. If you go through 100 cards a day (which is a lot), that’s still less than the number of words spoken in about a minute of speech. Which I know isn’t a perfect metaphor bc they aren’t going to say all of the words in your current deck, but my point is that reading or listening exposes you to a lot more of the language than SRS does, and is almost always more enjoyable.
Anyway my tl;dr is that I think the small amount of motivation is probably best focused to an easier/more enjoyable activity than SRS. Once you’re more engaged in studies you’ll probably have a point when you want to get back into SRS, and you can use that motivation to tackle your card review nightmare.
I think the problem is barely anything is enjoyable at the moment. I have a lot in queue which I’ve been looking forward to but I kinda feel dulled. I’ve been watching a few episodes of my favorite series but I felt nothing really.
It’s not a Japanese problem, it’s a me problem I think. SRS is not enjoyable, but it’s extremely low effort—tap some buttons done, that’s how it feels like at least.
I know I get this stuff in phases so I’m just hoping and waiting it out.
Some scattered thoughts and snippets
JLPT study
I have registered now for the N2 in December and am noticing once again how much I need arbitrary external goals to find motivation 
I made a totally overengineered JLPT study plan containing all my N2 books plus 日本語の森 playlist which I am now diligently checking off week after week (so far in week 3 and things are going smooth). I did an old N2 test that I found somewhere and passed with 45/46/45 points so hopeful that I can safely pass with a good grade until then.
| Week | Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Kanji (Sou Matome) | W5+6 | W7+8 | |
| Vocab (Sou Matome) | W7 | W8 | R W1+2 |
| Grammar (Sou Matome) | W1 | W2 | W3 |
| Grammar (Shin Kanzen) | Ch1 I 1-5 | Ch1 I 6-10 | Ch1 II 11-15 |
| Kanji (NnM) | Ch7 | Ch8-10 | Ch11 |
| Vocab (NnM) | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 |
| Grammar (NnM) | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 |
| Reading (NnM) | Ch0 | Ch1 |
Finished the Sou Matome Kanji and Vocab book so far (these are the least useful of the bunch but it was a good review).
Grammar Study
I feel like I still struggle a lot with grammatical nuances, but the focused study in SKM helps me a lot to notice grammar patterns in my reading as well. I’m seeing a lot of patterns where I had sort of like a ‘fuzzy’ feeling of what it meant and are hopefully now able to identify the correct meaning more often than not.
This also made me realize that grammar SRS really doesn’t help a lot, I need to constantly group and regroup similar grammar points to remember and identify the nuances.
Recently Watched/Watching
Watching the new episode religiously every Saturday and also reading the new web chapter every Tuesday. They did a good job imo with the adaptation, though I will definitely say that the manga is the OG medium for me. I think the depressing atmosphere is much more pronounced with the black and white pages, the art is more detailed, the framing is much more suspenseful.
I’ve been following the discussion on social media a lot, though I have to say that I find it tiring in many parts. There’s too much drama and negativity. If you find homophobic haters, block and move on. I am a millenial so maybe that’s why I don’t feel like fighting it out has any benefit. I like to read detailed analyses but sometimes I feel like people take it too seriously. Like, why are we discussing who’s more " healthy" or “toxic” as a love interest for Yoshiki, one is literally dead and the other a monsterboy - if you’re going with realistic standards then I hope you’ll be booting both…
In general around fandoms I see a lot of arguments about ‘correct’ shipping in the sense that some people say that shipping toxic characters/relationships is morally wrong.
I didn’t get the memo that shipping fictional characters means you’re endorsing the same behaviours in your real life relationships… Shipping doesn’t mean I want the same relationship happening to me or anyone else, it just means I like the character pairing because it creates interesting dynamics, I want to see the flaws and rawness of the characters, their best and worst, I want to see them grow or fail…
I wanted to watch this classic so badly and I started a year ago or so but left it at that due to the lack of subtitles. Since it’s been a while after that I was giving it a new shot - and hey, I made some tangible progress! I feel like I can watch it pretty much without subs now, I still don’t unterstand everything - especially when they go deep into the ice skating jargon - but I don’t feel any fatigue which is normally the case when I encounter something too much outside my comfortable range.
It’s been sitting in the watch list for a while but since my friend started watching it, I also finished it in a few days. Lighthearted and very fluffy work BL, though nothing hits my workplace BL itch the same as Old-Fashioned Cupcake . I was wondering if it makes sense to watch the Live Action Drama, since I wasn’t too invested.
Wow, reading this section brought back a lot of memories of that side of the internet, one I’m happy to have been away from for a while. It never occurred to me to debate how “healthy” any of Yoshiki’s relationships are, and I’m pretty sure that’s not the point of the story anyway. 
You’re doing better than me 
I love looking at fanarts so it can’t be helped that I stumble upon some discussions. Generally I’m all for it but it irks me that somehow people always tend to present their perceptions as the ultimate truth.
Tbh I think this may have started a bit with younger(?) millennials, but it being so widespread seems like a very recent thing, and I think it’s - ironically enough - pretty toxic and detrimental.
Yeah this conflation is more disturbing to me than the fictional relationships people are upset by. It was starting to get to me for a while, which is when I realized I needed to take a step back from certain spaces - and just continue enjoying the things I like, regardless of who finds them acceptable
I find that sort of discussion interesting personally. Sometimes it’s a very prominent component/dimension of the work (I haven’t read/watched this specific series, so no opinion there). But I think the difference is that I like it in the sense of analysis, not debate.
Oooh, I haven’t seen that since it came out. All I remember about it was gloriously gay + figure skating
That might be the perfect one sentence summary for me.
Nothing to disagree lol. It’s very fluffy and dorky, and makes me remember my fondness for sports anime. It’s kind of strange though to be watching it now, imagining how the fandom was in its prime days. Shame that Mappa canceled the movie.
I love Yuri on Ice so much and this is making me want to rewatch it again 
I don’t go for romance often but when I do I usually want something wrong or uncomfortable about it. Something toxic, something not right, a lie, a betrayal, whatever. I think expectations are clashing between groups who read to escape/be comforted and expect a romantic and sweet relationship, versus those who read for conflict and intrigue. Both are technically “romance” in name, but so far distant in what should be the expectations that they really ought not be
At the time, I had written somewhere that I watched the drama first and then had saved the anime bc I liked the drama so much, and the anime ended up being pretty flat for me. I think the pacing was off in the anime for me (esp towards the end), but the drama (probably) was a little less close to the manga plot and had room to make a story that fit the number of episodes.
Anyway, tl;dr I liked the drama a lot more.
Honestly, this feels like a parody of itself. I’m sure that people mean what they are saying, but, the show is starting from a place of “hey, look at this bad situation”. There’s no real point to whether or not creature that inhabits the body of dead friend or dead friend is a better partner.
It feels like tsking someone for not sorting their trash when a forest fire is coming.. like, I don’t think this really matters anymore..
Agree. I actually love media criticism, and, generously I’d like to give people having those fights on the internet that they do too and are just young/inexperienced and just need time to develop their media criticism skills.
But I also know the internet so I don’t think this is the case for everyone.
I think there’s also fatigue from LGBT stories that aren’t just, these people are in love and here’s their life, which I think is fair criticism. But 光 doesn’t feel like it’s falling into any BL/queer media tropes that I’m aware of, lol. It definitely passes there (for me at least).
Will keep it on the watchlist then! 
Right, that’s why I found it strange that some are treating it like it was a regular BL with the grand plot of “WHO WILL BE END UP WITH? STAY TUNED”
That being said, I absolutely love the subtle metaphors for Yoshiki’s queer journey, but taking all those queer references and Yoshiki’s self exploration aside, I really really love how the author depicts and shows friendships.
Yes, it’s clear that Yoshiki’s feelings were more than friendship BUT their friendship was also such a vital part of his/their life/lives, growing up, it’s such a beautiful and unconditional friendship. Would they have grown apart when Yoshiki would eventually move to the city? It’s sad to imagine Yoshiki with a love that stays unrequited forever, but still I would think he wouldn’t regret their friendship.
But also their other friends, I cried so hard in that scene with Asako and ‘Hikaru’ where she asks if the real Hikaru is really dead.
I think that writing good friendships requires also a lot of work, maybe even more.
JLPT Study Progress
So far I managed to follow my plan more or less, I made a spreadsheet to move things around which makes it a lot easier to keep an overview. I’m following the Nihongo no Mori video serious for subscribers–the content is more or less also what you find in diverse videos on their channel, but I like how they structured it on their website, so for me as someone who need rigourous structures to not fall off the train, it was definitely worth spending money for.
Reading on my Switch
I’ve been playing the Natsume Yuujinchou: Hazuki no Shirushi VN (夏目友人帳 ~葉月の記~), which is language-wise pretty easy (and also gameing wise). It’s a very light game, I wish they had more voiced lines, it’s pretty much only a few scenes and then a list of expressions. It’s nothing exciting, but still calming and has some references to former episodes.
I also play B-PROJECT RYUSEI*FANTASIA from time to time, currently in the 2nd of 4 possible lines–there are 14 idols so lots of content still. I think I have a knack for Kazuna and Akane (might be my I can fix them brainrot).
In Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney I have finished the first introductory case and about halfway with the second case. It’s such a breeze compared to when I started the series in Japanese a year ago. You get used to the (pseudo)-lawyer lingo super fast. Still recommend it to any N3 learners who like the franchise.
Books
I finished reading ふったらどしゃぶり When it rains, it pours | L32, I definitely want to watch the drama afterwards (once I decide when to start a month of GagaOlala). That was a rollercoaster. The novel begins very serene and I would say the first third is pretty depressing and has this melancholic feeling, like something is constantly pressed in your chest.
Then when things develop, it feels like it turns around very fast–in a way that is very befitting to the title name. Stylistic it had a lot of imagery and water-related onomatope–quite difficult to get into initially. In the latter half (when things got steamy), I read about 200 pages in 3 days. Forget my vocabulary list.
As a content warning, there are some pretty heavy scenes in the last part (sexual assault). It was hard to go through that and I was a bit confused if I understood the story right because of the characters’ reactions.
Listening
Nothing specific, I listen to a podcast episode here and then, sometimes I put a news live broadcast in the background.
I started watching バナナフィッシュ S1 | L31 which is atm quite difficult for me due to so many new vocabulary words related to crime and stuff. A long time ago I solely got interested in this series because I follow an artist on Twitter (didn’t even know it was about this series but I just liked her drawings of the two main characters). With subtitles it’s bearable, but I always re-read the plot on the wiki to make sure I didn’t miss any vital point.
Outlook
We’re going to Japan next week! I’m so excited. I didn’t do ANY dedicated study for that, I’m just going to wing it, hopefully. I’m trying to tell myself to make easier sentences instead of stumbling on trying to make fancy long sentences. Also preparing myself mentally for the possibilty that I will understand virtually nothing. But yeah, it’s going to be fun! (Oh god I hope it is). My anxiety is through the roof tbh. It’s my first longer trip since years, I have too many expectations (that I’m trying to curb but welp). FOMO is bad-bad. At this point I don’t want to hear what cool things people did because of that. But yeah, things will come at a time.
That aside, after I come back, I really want to get back into Tobira. I stopped at around Chapter 7, and I really want to finish the series by the beginning of next year. 5 Chapters, 5 months, sound good? Actually I’m planning 2 weeks per chapter again, but a little leeway never hurts.
OMG I almost forgot, this has nothing to do with Japanese, but we’re getting a cat! It’s directly planned to get her to us after we come back from Japan. I’m so excited, finally the cat distribution system has taken me in. That’s why I’m on the one hand super excited for Japan, but on the other hand I want to get back as soon as possible to welcome our new roomie </3
Enjoy! I’m sure you’ll have an amazing time. If it’s worth anything, the country exceeded my expectations and I only fell in love with it more. And that’s mainly based on the basic aspects of it, not really the popular stuff. Just try to enjoy the little stuff and explore as well. There’s so much unexpected things to fall in love with there outside the touristy popular stuff!
You’ll probably understand more than you expect! But also give yourself grace if someone is wearing a mask. That was my big foe last time I visited - they muffle the sounds so much that it ramps up the difficulty quite a bit!
Guys, I’m back! (Three weeks vacation in Japan)
I don’t even know where to begin. I’m bad with journaling, so I didn’t even try, I was too tired sometimes even to photograph things. I will probably hate past me for that, but sometimes it’s just more important for me to just be there
I think I don’t even need to say that it was amazing, so many things we’ve seen, so many things we’ve done, so many things we’ve eaten.
So I guess I will rather make a list of things that surprised me:
Now focusing on speaking Japanese.
My Japanese was shit, but it still felt amazing to use it. I could read traffic signs and instructions and it felt really helpful. I didn’t get jouzu’ed a lot, but I guess I was Japanese-passing look-wise. The talking back in English almost never happened, and I felt even though my Japanese was bad, it was appreciated. Whenever I mentioned that I’m foreign or I apologized for my bad Japanese, I got jouzu’ed. So I count that as a win. On a few occasions I was able to converse a little with friends of friends, and that was pretty fun, enjoyed that a lot, also the mix-talking in 2 languages. Makes me really wish I had a tandem buddy.
Towards the end I got quite good navigating menus and ordering, but I was often lost when they started to explain something that I didn’t know or expect. For example, at one restaurant they asked if we wanted to exchange the white rice for special 5 grain rice. As I didn’t understand the vocab for that at all, it took me a while to understand what was going on.
Also Keigo was so difficult, I tried to listen to the repeating phrases in the train etc. but it was still difficult sometimes.
Every day felt like I learned a lot, and I’m missing that feeling already. Being “forced” to interact with Japanese daily would help me tremendously I imagine. Especially for things like “in which context do you use a certain vocab”. I noticed many vocabs that I more or less studied in isolation where I finally understood the right context.
Now I’m slowly getting used to my every day life back home again. I must say, as much as I enjoyed Japan as a tourist, I wouldn’t want to live there permanently. A big maybe, if I had a job at a good foreign company and not in a city like Tokyo with grueling commute. Seeing the salary man culture there and also hearing first-hand about it from our friends’ friends was also quite off-putting. Coming there as a tourist with strong currency is probably very different than managing daily life in strong recession. I felt a bit bad for contributing myself to the overtourism problem.
But I feel very thankful that I could experience all that and talk to a few people, experience nature and some of the cultural landmarks. I hope I could pay a little bit of respect by learning about the culture and appreciating the language.
