Ugh, I’m in another funk.
I’ve been mostly keeping up with my TV shows and listening to audiobooks when I’m doing stuff around the house, but other than that it’s been a bit rough to get other things done.
I think I’m (thankfully) coming out of it because I read a bit more over the weekend. But I definitely would rather play Blue Prince right now than read a stinky Japanese book 
To that end, I decided to productively procrastinate over the weekend and I added the jpdb decks for 黒猫ニャンゴの冒険 | L29 and クラスで2番目に可愛い女の子と友だちになった | L27. Which of course shot my reviews up to 300+ and instead of having a panic attack, I just sat down and did them like an adult. It took more than 2 hours. I’m both proud and appalled. Now I’m going through the words with 4+ occurrences and I’ll switch to chronological order when we get closer to club start dates.
I also ended up dropping a bunch of my seasonals. I realized that I was dragging my feet to watch them and if I’m not enjoying shows I shouldn’t be watching them. It doesn’t help that it’s harder for me when things are on Crunchyroll and I’m adding subs and have to figure out timing… If something isn’t great and/or perfectly timed it’s really hard for me to keep with it.
That said, I’m still enjoying #謎解きはディナーのあとで S1 | L31 quite a lot. ざつ旅 -That's Journey- S1 | L24 I ended up dropping to no subs which is usually fine. And honestly I care a lot more about the settings than I do the characters so I’m not even bothered that much when I’m missing things.
In the past I’ve noticed that language funks tend to be correlated with the feeling of growth pretty soon afterwards, so I’m gonna be fingers crossed and just push on through.
It’s come up a few times both here and on the WK forums, but I think a big part of it is that I’m fairly happy with my progress but my reading is so slow that it makes the terrible things I’m reading just so painful to read. I don’t mind reading kids books and/or LN trash if it takes me less than a week to finish. But I struggle at 2+. Which brings about a viscous cycle of starting a bunch of books to find that one that is both perfectly interesting and difficult, not finding it, having a million books in progress and then feeling overwhelmed by the books that I “have” to finish. I should probably just get better at dropping things or having a trial period or whatever would work, but also, have some grace for myself when I don’t. Anyway, hopefully going back to jpdb will decrease my number of lookups per page to speed me along. I have noticed my comfortable reads are more in the 26-28 range these days when only a few months back it was more like 23-25. So the process is working, I’m just impatient af, as usual (afau?
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In other news, I started talking lessons. I was pretty pleased with my speaking abilities in Japan in March, considering I wasn’t working on that skill at all the past … decade? So far I’m just doing conversation lessons, but I may consider going through Quartet with a teacher if I can find some who teaches it. What’s shocking is that it’s actually not that hard for me to talk for an hour. I get tripped up and there are times I’m not saying anything close to correctly but my meaning does get across. Honestly, this is a huge win bc outside of university when I had to, I just haven’t focused any energy on speaking.
And on that vaguely upbeat note, I think that’s the end of my rant for the day. 